I’ve written to him so many times … that I do not know if it has any reason to continue … he simply doesn’t reply … and when he does it … he just writes a few words.
I feel it … he wants to stay far away … he won’t reply anymore … he stays there … avoiding me … ignoring me … and I do not know what to do …
It’s really horrible when the person you love doesn’t talk to you … doesn’t open his heart and mind to you … doesn’t explain to you what is it happening …
I’ve tried anything I could … what more than this? What more than declaring my absolute love to him. What more than praying him to talk … to explain …
He used to tell me “I’m yours forever” … “I am in your power” … “I love you more than you do!” … such as “I am very busy because of my job … I am a CEO … and I work 15 hours a day!!! Lots of responsibilities … I am responsible for the job of more than 100 people” … then there’s his family … wife … kids … social life …
What can you understand from this? I just understand that he doesn’t care enough of me … that he hasn’t got time in his life for me … that he does not give any priority to me.
I cannot accept it … I cannot … this situation is killing me … from total love to nothing …
How can you declare to love someone and then … nothing … I find it such a horrible attitude …
Am I so stupid that I prefer fooling me up than looking at reality?
He is married, he has kids, he lives more than 2.600 miles away from me, he is muslim and I am not, he has a high social position … and I could even continue the list … but I suppose it can be enough … don’t you think so?
You know what … I am not a CEO … but I have built such a nice life during these 20 years …I am a PhD … I have a nice job and even better plans for my future … I am married too and I was planning to have kids … probably I do not have all his responsibilities … but … I am socially connected too.
The difference between us …is that … if only he would have said to me … “I love you …I wish to live with you for the rest of my life!” … well … I would have kicked my life off … I would have jumped to Kuwait … even if I do not speak a word in Arabic … cause the only thing I find really important is this incredible love … or better the one I supposed there was …
I really love him … but what about his answer?
Here is his answer to my long e-mail:
RispondiElimina"i swear im not doing anything...but really busy.. you cant see me online lately.. even not on FB...
pls pls pls forgive me.... im really fuqed up with work..."
After so many days ... What a delusion!!!
Indian :O|