What should I understand??? He has no time for me … I do not exist in his daily life … I am only a lover he wishes to meet every quarter …
Yes I remember perfectly what he said three months ago … but that time I didn’t get it … as well as I didn’t get when he talked to me about our “private room” …
He decided in a row that I would have been his secret love … we would have met in our private room … and no one would have ever known about us.
And I even remember when he said … “An old love always pleased your life … while a new one can pissed it off” …
It was perfectly clear in his mind … my role in his life was “The Lover” …
Every … “I love you … I love you more than you do ... I cannot imagine my life without you … I miss you … “ … and so on … everything was concerning my role as a lover … not as a love …
I do not know … what does being a lover mean? I have never been or had a lover before now… and I do not like it.
I do not like staying quiet until he says I can speak.
I do not like waiting for his assignment in Europe to meet him.
I do not like betraying my husband and lying.
I do not like writing e-mails without having a reply.
I do not like being ignored.
I do not like too many things…
But what I do not like most is his answer!!!
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